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Olympian Challenges All-Comers
by J.D. Hawk
The first time I saw Shelia Burrell, she was preaching about the power of God at a Chula Vista Church. Her message was powerful; her presence was powerful; she was powerful.
Then, as if to punctuate that message of power, she challenged all-comers to meet her in the parking lot after church if they dare to take her on. Did anyone want a piece of her? I didn’t.
I was too scared and took towards home to watch TV instead. Many school-aged children did accept Burrell’s challenge, however, and they eagerly chased her around the church like Chariots of Fire. They all lost. In fact, they got their little tushes whooped. Hallelujah!
One need not have been a prophet to predict that outcome. You see, Burrell is arguably the top all-around female athlete in the nation today. As a heptathlete, she’s represented America in two Olympics and won the Bronze medal at the 2001 World Championships among pages of other notable achievements. If she’d been around in Old-Testament times, no doubt the Philistines would have sent her out as their champion instead of Goliath.
My claim to fame was that I’d once bench-pressed 300 pounds while on the high school football team in 1989. But since those glory days, neglect and self-abuse had transformed me into Al Bundy – balding, chubby and easily winded.
Burrell now teaches weekly classes at Rohr Park to help fat people turn skinny. It’s called PE or Performance Exercise and her classes use the same techniques she uses for her own Olympic training. So I mustered up some courage and drove to Rohr Park in order to take her up on that open-challenge presented nearly two years ago at church. “Okay, I’m calling you out, Burrell!” I shouted …in my mind.
Burrell knew I was coming and was out waiting after her PE class like a tickled tigress with fresh meat coming to her.
I wore my old, ripped football jersey for inspiration until the silliness of the situation sank in. The only real threat I posed to athletes was my falling on top and rolling over them.
We greeted each other with combatant civilities followed by a series of ritualized pose-offs. “He keeps challenging me to things and losing,” she said to a bystander. “Then he comes back again.”
Though Burrell’s heptathlon events consists of 100 meter hurdles, high jump, shot put, 200 meters, long jump, Javelin and 800 meters, we both agreed on a revised version for practicality: the Javelin, 30 meter sprint and the over-back shot put.
Our first event was the over-back shot put. It’s like the regular shot-put event except you throw the shot behind yourself with both hands over your head. I huffed the shot with no technique and sheer force. Burrell used every tissue in her ripped body in a fluid, continuous motion. This symphony of muscles erupted into a body-jump crescendo and final release of the shot from the hands. After three attempts each, the result was a Burrell victory at 50 feet to my 49 feet. The fact that I came one foot away from tying this champion put an intoxicating smile across my face – a smile that was soon wiped clean by a sobering remark from Burrell. “We both suck.”
The Javelin was next, and I had never laid my hands on one my entire life. “You won’t be able to throw it straight,” Burrell said assuredly.
But Jenny Adams, 100-meter hurdler had her suspicions and warned Burrell, “How do you know he hasn’t done this before and just pretending?”
I wasn’t pretending. But if it were really that difficult to throw the javelin properly, then I’d try not to mimic proper form and throw it like a football instead. It worked. It didn’t look pretty, but it flew. “
To even the odds, Burrell threw the javelin without a running start. But the result was yet another Burrell victory -- 116 ft. to my 112 ft. (Burrell’s personal best 165’4’’.)
As a couch potato, I fear any type of aerobic exercise and wasn’t looking forward to the next event, the 30-meter sprint. But surprise! Who would have guessed it? This fat man actually beat Burrell completing it in 4.36 seconds. “Oh man, you’re actually going to make me work,” Burrell said.
She then continued with her next 30-meter sprint and completed it in 3.74 seconds. Still wheezing from my first sprint, I conceded and refused to exercise my right at two more attempts.
Even with the equalizing conditions, Burrell had now shown me up in three out of our three events. But there was still one ace up my sleeve-- Football.
If there was one saving grace that any male pot-bellied coach potato has, it’s religious devotion to football. Burrell accepted a final challenge from me at a long-distance football-throwing contest. My arm was sore from the earlier javelin throws but I was
going to heave this thing with everything I had.
I recalled the zeal with which Burrell had preached two years prior –power, power, power, I thought. Winding my arm up, I one took a step forward --my eyes glaring at the heavens above -- and I slung it off like a rock from a sling. – 10, 20, 30, 40, nearly 50 yards that ball did fly, (48.5 yards).
She would not be able to match that distance and Burrell, that invincible giant, finally fell that great October day.
Athletes like Burrell are beyond good. They’re great. They’re the best in this country and among the best in the world. It’s assuring to know talented athletes like Burrell choose Chula Vista to train and live in and have been so readily accepted in the community.
You can learn more about Burrell’s PE classes at
Rohr Park at www.shebegold.com.
Contact J.D. Hawk |
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